senoritafish: (Toki kitty)
[personal profile] senoritafish
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Just recently, from a TV show - The latest new episodes of Metalocalypse have all been character-centric and each one of them has had a song. The episode entitled "Fertilityklok," featured Toki, and after experiencing what he thinks is a kidnapping/near death experience, he's convinced the whole band/groupie scene is shallow and wants to find a real significant other, someone to start a family with, much to the disgust of the rest of the guys. Having no idea how to go about dating, he signs up with an agency, who says their results are "100% guaranteed" but only ask him a few very vague questions. Being naive, idealistic Toki, he answers in the most romantic and idealistic terms; doesn't care what she looks like, someone he can talk to, have a family eventually...and the agency tells him "they can pinpoint your partner's fertility to the second!" Boy, let's not waste any damn time trying to get to know one another and just get straight to the business, hmm?

Unfortunately, no alarm bells are going off for Toki, he's convinced they're going to find his dream girl. They call to tell him her name, and he wanders off in a fantasy to meet her, complete with hearts, bunnies and Lucky Charms-filled dragons (Toki's fantasy life is about the same as my nine-year-old daughter's, all pastel Hello Kitty and rainbows, just slightly more weird).

I never mets you
But I thinks I loves you
You ams the woman of my dreams
Computer technologies
Brought us togethers
And I thinks you ams the ones for me

I am Toki
You ams Caroline
And we mets onlines
I'm gonna makes you mines

And we'll gets married
Prob'ly has children
Prob'ly spend our lives togethers
Prob'ly dies togethers
I am Toki

(Toki is Norwegian and not supposed to speak English all that well. Thing is his bandmate Skwisgaar, from Sweden, talks exactly the same way. I believe my brother's friend from that country would be insulted, because he doesn't sound that way at all.)

All of Toki's dreams are dashed when he meets the agency's selection for him. Let's just say it doesn't work out well, and the 100% guarantee seems to only be for the other party. Then he decides he's just as shallow as everyone else (a little disappointing, but one hopes it's only temporary).

Anyhoo, the above song got to be an earworm that was stuck in my head for a week. Yeah, the lyrics are dumb (and got dumber the longer it was stuck in my head) and the autotune on Toki's voice annoyed other fans (I kind of thought it was related to the computer dating theme), but I guess I'm a sucker for those kinds of chord progressions. I also thought it was kind of funny they actually animated Toki's vibrato, (and Murderface's in a later episode, as well); he uses his jaw instead of his diaphragm.

Lately, it's been replaced by Linkin Park's Waiting For the End. Who've thought they would do a song that's actually kind of pretty? Too short though - seems like it needs another verse; or am I just hearing a radio edit?


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August 2011

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