Spam® wisdom...

[senoritafish]

On the back of a can of Spam® Lite, under the recipe for Spamburgers (which includes a "proper slicing technique" guide and gauge for slicing thickness - infant to linebacker):

So. Now you know another of the many secrets of Spam®. This knowledge carries much responsibility. It gives you the power to feed yourself and others. You wield a delicious skill that has far-reaching consequences. Please do not use it for evil.