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senoritafishI got a newsletter from my medical group the other day. On the front page was a short article saying that one that one of my obstetricians had passed away. No details, just his picture (fiftyish, with a grey beard and hair, and fairly thick glasses), and that he was kind, gentle and unselfish. I suppose he may have been to the people he worked with; however, to me he always seemed tired, distracted, and a bit cranky. I'm never really comfortable with male doctors anyhow, and he seldom did much to put me at my ease. The first time he examined me, he was pretty rough - I was in tears afterwards, and all he did was hand me a tissue; no "What's the matter, are you ok?" pat on the shoulder, or anything. Although I preferred to make appointments with Dr. Rahkshani, the female doctor, she was (and still is, I suppose) very popular, and her appointments always filled up quickly. There was always room on Dr. Smith's schedule. I attributed a lot of it to the rush of modern HMO doctor appointments. How well can you get to know someone when you are seeing god knows how many patients a day, for five minutes at a time?
I think I found out one of the reasons he was so terse, though. Although he never delivered any of my children, I was part of his rounds the morning after Avalon's birth. He was actually cheery and smiling, told me "What a cute baby!" and not only asked how I was doing, but also how John was surviving, and he actually stayed and chatted a bit with us. After three pregnancies worth of doctor visits (granted, still not enough to get to know someone very well), he was in the lightest mood I'd ever seen him.
It was 6:30 in the morning.
My appointments were always at 3:30 or 4:30 in the afternoon. No wonder he seemed cranky - he was a morning person!
His office and exam rooms were all decorated with Native American items, and the few obligatory baby oriented things to make pregnant women feel like they were in the right place. One room had a frame with several pictures of himself, recognizable though with darker hair and no beard, holding his own children as infants, and the quote "Were you ever so little to think that I was so big?" And the following poem was hanging on the wall in another of them, and I always thought it was very sweet and comforting when it was my first time. I wrote it down and looked at it whenever I felt like I wasn't doing anything right with Angus. I still got depressed, but sometimes it helped. I saved it to pass on to any other new moms I might run into.
Dr. Smith, I hope it's always morning, wherever you are now.
I think I found out one of the reasons he was so terse, though. Although he never delivered any of my children, I was part of his rounds the morning after Avalon's birth. He was actually cheery and smiling, told me "What a cute baby!" and not only asked how I was doing, but also how John was surviving, and he actually stayed and chatted a bit with us. After three pregnancies worth of doctor visits (granted, still not enough to get to know someone very well), he was in the lightest mood I'd ever seen him.
It was 6:30 in the morning.
My appointments were always at 3:30 or 4:30 in the afternoon. No wonder he seemed cranky - he was a morning person!
His office and exam rooms were all decorated with Native American items, and the few obligatory baby oriented things to make pregnant women feel like they were in the right place. One room had a frame with several pictures of himself, recognizable though with darker hair and no beard, holding his own children as infants, and the quote "Were you ever so little to think that I was so big?" And the following poem was hanging on the wall in another of them, and I always thought it was very sweet and comforting when it was my first time. I wrote it down and looked at it whenever I felt like I wasn't doing anything right with Angus. I still got depressed, but sometimes it helped. I saved it to pass on to any other new moms I might run into.
To a First Time Mom
Relax, my dear. Your little elf
is just an amateur herself.
So if your hands, so newly filled
with tasks, seem somewhat less than skilled
Relax, I say. This little pinkling
Doesn't have the slightest inkling
That you are new to baby lore-
She's never had a mom before.
-Helen Rittell
Dr. Smith, I hope it's always morning, wherever you are now.
