senoritafish | (no subject)

I think today may be a long day. It's Jay's birthday - today he would have been 41 years old. John really misses his brother; although they never did much for each other's birthdays - "Happy Birthday" and maybe a handshake or a hug - it's the first one since he passed away. And Angus is still making comments which sound angry or rude, because e doesn't really understand the concept of death, which makes it even harder for John. This morning before I left for work he started watching something on the news about Robert Downey, Jr. taking about his heroin use and getting clean and how difficult it is. He suddenly said, " This reminds me of Jay," which I thought was why he was watching it in the first place. His mother said she doesn't want any company or anything today - I'm sure it's difficult for her today too. Her way of mourning is to push everyone away - for Jay's funeral she actually phoned all her Michigan relatives and told them not to come - they basically told her "Screw you, we're coming anyway! He was our cousin/nephew/grandson, too!"

Not to speak ill of the dead, but damn Jay anyway! What made him think he could just try the stuff again after 4 years!