Sympathy (without tea)...
Mar. 26th, 2002 05:24 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
senoritafishI hate signing office sympathy cards - not because I don't empathize with the co-worker who has lost a loved one- but because I can never think of something that everyone else hasn't already said. The tired "My condolences," "Sorry to hear of your loss," or "My thoughts and prayers are with you." And then some people have to tell the person how they should grieve - "Focus on your happy memories."
Whenever I get one of these things (probably 4 or 5 times in the last year), I agonize over it for much longer than I probably should, then usually say something similar to the above, or, if I don't know the person well, just sign my name.
This week two married co-workers (who are also a fairly close friends) had her grandmother pass away, while she was visiting them. They knew what was coming and were somewhat prepared; she was 97, had lived a full and happy life, and had fallen and broken her hip. She was ready herself, had been for awhile, but the accident started the inevitable, which she did not fight. When the sympathy card was circulated, what kept coming to me was what a friend of my brother's had told him when his partner died:
"Look out the window and say good-bye - it's a good day for sailing."
Fair winds and following seas.
What I would really like to say:
I grieve with thee. I hurt because you feel pain. We all know that death is part of life, but it doesn't make it any easier, even when we know it's coming and are somewhat prepared. I'm not going to tell you how to mourn or to call up happy memories - you are a strong person and will get through this in whatever way you see fit. Just know that we love you and are here to help you do anything you find comforting.
Inappropriate? I don't know.
Whenever I get one of these things (probably 4 or 5 times in the last year), I agonize over it for much longer than I probably should, then usually say something similar to the above, or, if I don't know the person well, just sign my name.
This week two married co-workers (who are also a fairly close friends) had her grandmother pass away, while she was visiting them. They knew what was coming and were somewhat prepared; she was 97, had lived a full and happy life, and had fallen and broken her hip. She was ready herself, had been for awhile, but the accident started the inevitable, which she did not fight. When the sympathy card was circulated, what kept coming to me was what a friend of my brother's had told him when his partner died:
"Look out the window and say good-bye - it's a good day for sailing."
Fair winds and following seas.
What I would really like to say:
I grieve with thee. I hurt because you feel pain. We all know that death is part of life, but it doesn't make it any easier, even when we know it's coming and are somewhat prepared. I'm not going to tell you how to mourn or to call up happy memories - you are a strong person and will get through this in whatever way you see fit. Just know that we love you and are here to help you do anything you find comforting.
Inappropriate? I don't know.
