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Jan. 30th, 2002 10:30 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
senoritafishEveryone's asleep. John wanted to go to sleep early because he didn't sleep well last night. Avalon was being so cute; she sure loves to watch her daddy. She make s the funniest sounds; different than Angus or Gareth. I've gotto get out the video camera; we got for events like this and I always seem to miss them.
Every time I feel rushed or annoyed when she needs something, I have to slow down and tell myself to enjoy this. This is the last time I'm going to experience this - she is my last one. It's funny - when I was younger I could never quite understand why my mother just melted whenever she saw a baby. Sure, they were cute, but they always made me nervous. But now, I know this is what she was remembering; nursing and caring for us when we were tiny. I see other newborns and think, were mine really ever that little? It seems hard to believe now, with Angus getting so big. He'll be 4 in a few weeks. It's a bittersweet feeling, especially when I wish so much I could talk to my mom about them. She wanted so much to be a Grandma.
Every time I feel rushed or annoyed when she needs something, I have to slow down and tell myself to enjoy this. This is the last time I'm going to experience this - she is my last one. It's funny - when I was younger I could never quite understand why my mother just melted whenever she saw a baby. Sure, they were cute, but they always made me nervous. But now, I know this is what she was remembering; nursing and caring for us when we were tiny. I see other newborns and think, were mine really ever that little? It seems hard to believe now, with Angus getting so big. He'll be 4 in a few weeks. It's a bittersweet feeling, especially when I wish so much I could talk to my mom about them. She wanted so much to be a Grandma.
