senoritafish: (Jet - red)
[personal profile] senoritafish
When I was five, I told my dad I wanted an alligator for a pet. He told me I could have one when I was fifteen.

When I was in fourth or fifth grade (can't remember exactly what year now), there used to be a alligator/crocodile park close to one of the theme parks near my home. Remembering back on it now, it was probably small and overcrowded, although the animals seemed well taken care of; at the time I thought it was a fascinating place. That was where I dragged all of my girlfriends for my birthday, when I was in fourth or fifth grade. Most of them put on the typical girl-afraid-of reptile act, but I think at least a few of them found themselves reluctantly interested. I think I got one or two of them to actually touch a snake, including my best friend Anne, who was terrified of them; she was shocked that it wasn't slimy.

In Girl Scouts, I was always the girl in my troop who got woken up in the middle of the night to get a spider out of somebody's tent. One time, it was a chicken; not really all that scary an animal, but I suppose at three o'clock in the morning when you aren't expecting it, it could be a bit nerve-wracking to wake up and find an Indian Jungle Fowl on top of your sleeping bag. And when we had emergency-preparedness challenge where someone pretended to sprain her ankle and the rest of us had to carry her back to camp, I tried to calm everyone down when the cows in the field started coming through the busted fence onto the road behind us; I don't know what they thought they were going to do, just suddenly charge and trample us for no reason?

On my fifteenth birthday, after opening my gifts, I turned to Dad and said, "OK, where's my alligator?" He blanched and replied "Dammit, you were supposed to have forgotten by now!" I laughed and put him at ease; by that time I had realized that large reptilian predators do not make good household pets, and sharing the bathroom with two brothers was crowded enough without putting a creature with a lot of teeth into the mix.

So maybe we had a few things in common, but I can't say I was a big fan of Steve Irwin - my main reaction to his show was rolling my eyes, and it seemed that he often put getting a good camera shot above safety. There's such a thing as a healthy respect for the business end of an animal that's either venomous or could do you a serious injury, that he just didn't seem to have. However, I watched one of his interviews the next day, and to his credit, he emphasized (as he pointed out all of his numerous scars) that any injury he'd ever gotten from an animal was his own fault (although aren't you supposed to learn before you get that many?). I've worked with pelagic stingrays ( Pteroplatytrygon violacea, formerly Dasyatis violacea, same genus); they are not gentle or harmless if they think they're threatened. They can arch their tails clear over their backs, they can aim, and there's a lot of muscle behind it, too - that spine is just like a serrated knife. Maybe he just didn't take that into account.

But if his enthusiasm got anyone interested in animals, conservation, zoology, or even changed anyone's mind that "ugly" or dangerous critters serve a purpose in the environment and shouldn't be killed just because you're afraid of them, then that was a good thing. I know I had two little boys here who took the news pretty hard and needed a lot of comforting and drying of tears before going to bed the other night. Gareth sobbed and cried, and Angus was just as affected although he reacts to grief with a stiff body, clenched fists, and angry tears, refusing to be soothed - he immediately wanted to go and punish the stingray, and we had to explain that it was only trying to defend itself, and that's exactly what the Crocodile Hunter always tried to prevent. We've always taught them that animals are allowed to protect themselves, and the cats will scratch them if they're bothered.

We finally got out a candle, took it out on the patio, lit it and said good-bye to Steve as we watched the flame. Rituals seem to help, and they were finally able to calm down enough to go to sleep. I know it won't be as easy for Terri and her kids.

He was only a little older than me - we were born in the same year.

*sigh*

If I ever catch my kids picking up a snake by the tail, though, they're going to wish it had bitten them.

Afterward: John was angry with me for letting it slip. He thought they didn't need to know about it, and it could've waited. Maybe so, but he'd rather they found out from turning the show on the next day? At school, when a friend told them? When is a convenient time for a child's grief?

Date: 2006-09-07 03:48 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] angelsmum.livejournal.com
Better that your kids find out from you with whom they feel safe to let their feelings show, I reckon.
Steve Irwin irritated me at first and I used to hate watching his shows, however I have come to enjoy the eductional side of it and I respect what he has been trying to do for conservation and protection of Aussie wildlife.

Date: 2006-09-07 04:38 am (UTC)
ext_341900: (pensive)
From: [identity profile] senoritafish.livejournal.com
Well, I could have done it more gracefully, I suppose. I was reading on the computer and gasped, and of course they wanted to know what was wrong. But the reaction would've been the same whenever we told them. They've lost a great-mother, an uncle and a beloved cat, so they know about death; they haven't been protected from it. Maybe John just wanted to shield them from one that was farther away, and didn't really affect them as directly.

There's another guy named Jeff Corwin who does a similar type of show; but I never found him quite as obnoxious. Not so in your face, I suppose. But I can respect what Irwin has done - there's another person on my friends list who lives in that area and says he really did a lot to help the community there as well.

Date: 2006-09-07 07:18 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] angelsmum.livejournal.com
Jeff Corwn is cool too :)

Date: 2006-09-07 03:53 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] poetpaladin.livejournal.com
It's better to find out from a parent who's there for them, than from a stranger.

Date: 2006-09-07 04:40 am (UTC)
ext_341900: (Jet - red)
From: [identity profile] senoritafish.livejournal.com
I think it was the timing he was questioning - I probably could have done it more gracefully.

Date: 2006-09-07 05:17 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] poetpaladin.livejournal.com
Well, you did the best you can. No point in being angry about it.

Date: 2006-09-07 04:10 am (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
i cried too. a lot!

Date: 2006-09-07 04:11 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] puddinhed.livejournal.com
oops, that was me. got logged out somehow.

Date: 2006-09-07 04:43 am (UTC)
ext_341900: (so tired...)
From: [identity profile] senoritafish.livejournal.com
I cried too...

*hug*

damn...

Date: 2006-09-07 04:13 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] vwsrmylife.livejournal.com
i am still wrestling with how to break the news to Milo. i know now is not the time for him since everything else is shit, but Milo lurved that dude!
i don't know . usually you can share stuff like this only when you know your child is ready and only you know your child.

tough question.

g

Re: damn...

Date: 2006-09-07 04:56 am (UTC)
ext_341900: (Default)
From: [identity profile] senoritafish.livejournal.com
*sigh* I wish I knew what to tell you. I don't think it's ever a good time, but you're right, when he's already upset about other things is probably not good.

I probably didn't do it the best way, either, but at least we were there for them and the worst of it was over before they went to bed. Doesn't mean they aren't still sad about it, but there are other distractions, with school starting and such.

Date: 2006-09-07 01:00 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wineandsong.livejournal.com
No time is convenient for anyone's grief.

I remember discovering Steve Irwin when I lived in Iowa, and I was embarrassed. I'd never heard of him when I lived in Australia, and at the time he just seemed like a loud, stereotypical Aussie larrikin. Over time though I learned about his zoo, his community service, and his love for his family. It's the latter that upset me most on Monday when I heard the news.

People I know who have met him said he was pretty much the same IRL as he was on TV -- but it was all genuine. He knew when to "be the larrikin" and when to put forward more charm. And everything he did was to make the world a better place. I've got to respect that.

I hope the boys can settle after this. It's tough when someone who put themselves forward as almost invincible is shown to be mortal, just like the rest of us.

Date: 2006-09-07 01:37 pm (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
I'm sure glad he didn't die of eating too many cheeseburgers.

Date: 2006-09-07 10:42 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] archaeomom8.livejournal.com
We've had tears here too. The world is a less rich place for his loss. My older kids (13, 16) want to do a ritual for him for the yonger two. My 11 year old daughter was very broken up...They released a big helium balloon over our new desert home for starters. Daughter in law is a herpatologist, she's very saddened as well. RIP Steve.

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