A response to Talon's slight rant......
Mar. 11th, 2003 07:18 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
senoritafishI love comics like For Better or For Worse too, and I agree that showing breastfeeding in the comics is a good thing - anything to get it more out in the open, and encourage more new mothers to do it. At one time it was the only way, and it's still the best way. I certainly believe nursing should continue as long as both mom and baby are comfortable doing it.
However, although I didn't see that particular strip, I can relate to it. A lot of us do find it painful, especially in the beginning, and extremely difficult to learn how to do. It still makes me angry how difficult something that is supposed to be completely natural, the most basic part of mothering, is to learn. Flat nipples, recurrent thrush infections, and my awkward, oversized mammaries made things harder. Being told "You're doing it wrong!" would have only served to make a depressed and discouraged mom who has already tried everything - books, other moms, lactation consultants, everything, and it still hurts- more likely to quit. At times, I felt like I was a worthless mom, because I simply could not get the hang of it. I feel like after three children that I nursed for a year apeice I was only beginning to figure it out. I suppose I should say two; I never could get Angus to nurse after he spent the first week in NICU, so I pumped for a year. With Gareth and Avalon, it was a little easier, but we still had a hard time getting established. And then I had to go back to work after eight weeks, and I got a thrush infection which was pure hell, and took forever to heal.
As far as nursing exclusively, that's not always possible either. Since I made more, we made the decision that I would go back to work, and John would be the stay at home parent. I pumped at work, but what I left at home never seemed to last through the day. So, some supplementing was a necessity. While I regretted I couldn't provide for all my children's needs, I figured that something is better than nothing, and with Angus, that the product he was getting was more important than the method of delivery. He still got the same amount of cuddling and loving during feedings.
I guess what I'm trying to say is we all do what we have to do, and what is right for some - exclusive and/or extended breastfeeding - does not work for others. Not only did my kids start losing interest at about a year, when they start eating more solid food, I don't think I would have been comfortable with it for too much longer. My feeling (and this is my feeling about my own family - it does not apply to anybody else's) is that when they're old enough to unbutton your blouse, they're old enough to be feeding themselves. And if Jim is only now having sharing issues, all I can say is he's a much more patient person than my husband. John started getting impatient before the healing period was over (men!).
If this makes me a bad mom, so be it. That's what I suspected anyway. In any case my nursing days are done, for better or for worse. It's been about six months since Avalon stopped, and I miss it, the closeness, the cuddling, sometimes. But it's also nice to have my body back.
However, although I didn't see that particular strip, I can relate to it. A lot of us do find it painful, especially in the beginning, and extremely difficult to learn how to do. It still makes me angry how difficult something that is supposed to be completely natural, the most basic part of mothering, is to learn. Flat nipples, recurrent thrush infections, and my awkward, oversized mammaries made things harder. Being told "You're doing it wrong!" would have only served to make a depressed and discouraged mom who has already tried everything - books, other moms, lactation consultants, everything, and it still hurts- more likely to quit. At times, I felt like I was a worthless mom, because I simply could not get the hang of it. I feel like after three children that I nursed for a year apeice I was only beginning to figure it out. I suppose I should say two; I never could get Angus to nurse after he spent the first week in NICU, so I pumped for a year. With Gareth and Avalon, it was a little easier, but we still had a hard time getting established. And then I had to go back to work after eight weeks, and I got a thrush infection which was pure hell, and took forever to heal.
As far as nursing exclusively, that's not always possible either. Since I made more, we made the decision that I would go back to work, and John would be the stay at home parent. I pumped at work, but what I left at home never seemed to last through the day. So, some supplementing was a necessity. While I regretted I couldn't provide for all my children's needs, I figured that something is better than nothing, and with Angus, that the product he was getting was more important than the method of delivery. He still got the same amount of cuddling and loving during feedings.
I guess what I'm trying to say is we all do what we have to do, and what is right for some - exclusive and/or extended breastfeeding - does not work for others. Not only did my kids start losing interest at about a year, when they start eating more solid food, I don't think I would have been comfortable with it for too much longer. My feeling (and this is my feeling about my own family - it does not apply to anybody else's) is that when they're old enough to unbutton your blouse, they're old enough to be feeding themselves. And if Jim is only now having sharing issues, all I can say is he's a much more patient person than my husband. John started getting impatient before the healing period was over (men!).
If this makes me a bad mom, so be it. That's what I suspected anyway. In any case my nursing days are done, for better or for worse. It's been about six months since Avalon stopped, and I miss it, the closeness, the cuddling, sometimes. But it's also nice to have my body back.
