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senoritafishJohn just called; he just spoke with Helen, Jay's wife. Her nephew was just shot to death in Compton by what appeared to be gang members. He was walking home from work. I did not know the guy, but John did; he was a good kid, a straight arrow, and not involved with gangs. Guys just pulled alongside him in a car and shot him.
You hear about this stuff on the news - it's not supposed to happen to anyone you know, or ever anyone that you know knows.
I feel for Helen so badly. I believe she has already lost more than one family member, and her husband (John's brother) most recently. They had been separated for as long as I had known them but I believe they were still close. Helen really wanted children and Jay didn't. Because of his background, he never trusted himself to be a parent. He was perfectly content to babysit ours, as long as he knew he could give them back if he felt he might get out of control. Helen could not understand this and it caused a deeper rift between them. Although part of it was that Jay could not hold a job, could be an asshole, was difficult to live with, and occasionally fell off the wagon with his addiction.
And now she has another round of grief laid upon her. She doesn't deserve it. But who does? John said he will make an appearance at the funeral. I don't know if I should go though. I did not know the person or anything about him really, so I don't know if it would be appropriate.
After Jay's memorial service, John said he hoped Helen stayed in touch. He had a feeling she would start slipping away, and worried that her family, many of whom had never liked it that she had married a white guy, would convince her to stop visiting us. Certainly her own brother's and sister's children are closer and more immediate to her. But I think she's stonger than that, or she wouldn't have stayed married to Jay for so long. I don't think she's going to let her family talk her out of anything. We need to have her over more often; we should go pick her up if her car isn't working. She needs to see her other nephews and niece sometimes too, and I don't want them to forget about her.
You hear about this stuff on the news - it's not supposed to happen to anyone you know, or ever anyone that you know knows.
I feel for Helen so badly. I believe she has already lost more than one family member, and her husband (John's brother) most recently. They had been separated for as long as I had known them but I believe they were still close. Helen really wanted children and Jay didn't. Because of his background, he never trusted himself to be a parent. He was perfectly content to babysit ours, as long as he knew he could give them back if he felt he might get out of control. Helen could not understand this and it caused a deeper rift between them. Although part of it was that Jay could not hold a job, could be an asshole, was difficult to live with, and occasionally fell off the wagon with his addiction.
And now she has another round of grief laid upon her. She doesn't deserve it. But who does? John said he will make an appearance at the funeral. I don't know if I should go though. I did not know the person or anything about him really, so I don't know if it would be appropriate.
After Jay's memorial service, John said he hoped Helen stayed in touch. He had a feeling she would start slipping away, and worried that her family, many of whom had never liked it that she had married a white guy, would convince her to stop visiting us. Certainly her own brother's and sister's children are closer and more immediate to her. But I think she's stonger than that, or she wouldn't have stayed married to Jay for so long. I don't think she's going to let her family talk her out of anything. We need to have her over more often; we should go pick her up if her car isn't working. She needs to see her other nephews and niece sometimes too, and I don't want them to forget about her.
